Diary of A Jeopardy! Hopeful



He's toying with me.

As a goof about 6 months ago, I logged onto the Jeopardy! (can't forget the exclamation point) website and told them I wanted to be a contestant. The site told me that if I wanted to sign up, that was fine, but I COULD ONLY DO IT ONCE. If I attempted to sign up more than one time I would be permanently denied the opportunity to acquire some lovely parting gifts. Those Jeopardy! people don't mess around.

Don't get me wrong. I would love to be the female version of Ken Jennings. (With more melanin and better boobs) But I also realize that my knowledge of world history and geography pales in comparison to what I know about Hollywood and the almighty Oprah. And since I seriously doubt that I would be asked to list the filmography of John Cusak, my chances of walking away with even turtle wax are slim at best.

So I'm hanging out around the house last week, and I get an e-mail from Alex Trebek! Apparently he has seen my request to audition, and has scheduled a very special day for me to take the test. ME! YAY! I immediately go to scour my closet to find something that will make me look like a rocket scientist AND hot at the same time. Unsuccessful in my quest, I return to my computer and realize that it doesn't matter. My date with Alex will be electronic. I will be taking the test from home. No need for a cute red suit, bunny slippers are fine.

In almost "Mission Impossible" fashion, I am instructed to register my information, and then return to my computer on Thursday evening. I am to log in "no later than 7:30pm" and the test was to begin at 8:00.

It is here that my naturally type-a behavior serves me well. I am at my comptuer (desktop...can't run the risk of the wireless hiccuping on my laptop halfway through) no later than 7:05. I open up several browser windows and search for everything from state capitals to a list of the presidents. Whatever I didn't know, I was going to have at my fingertips.

So at 7:10, I'm ready. I have logged in, I have my reference windows, I have my bunny slippers. I am psyched.

7:11 - I am antsy, and the Jeopardy! theme-song coming through my speakers is starting to get to me. I decide that since I have 45+ minutes, I am going to open up iTunes and at least get my groove on. My two songs are Stevie Wonder's "I Wish" and Mary Chapin Carpenter's "I feel lucky."

7:30 - I'm exhausted from the singing and dancing.

7:45 - Kill me. Kill me now.

7:50 - Relax. I can do this. I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and I could kick Jennings' butt.

7:59 - Here we go.

It is at this point that my open reference windows will do me absolutely no good, as you have 15 seconds to type your answer. (Not in the form of a question. Go fig.) All fill in the blank. I barely have time to type the response before I move on. No going back, no extra time, you miss it, you're screwed.

Question 1. Got it.
Question 2. Umm I think I remember Mr. Pelletier telling us this in the 7th grade.
Question 3. Not about John Cusack, but I still got it
Question 4. Who are 5 people who have never been to my house?
Question 5. Damnit! I didn't mean to hit enter to skip it, I KNEW that one!!!!
Question 6. You have got to be kidding me. Steven Hawking couldn't answer this freaking question

And so it goes for 44 additional questions. I don't think I breathed the entire time. I got to the last question, and I was physically spent.

I looked at the clock. It had to have been at least an hour's worth of brain strain.

It had lasted 12 minutes.

Well, it's over. Do I think I did well? I think I did better than most, not as good as some. There were a few that I just had to (intentionally) pass on, and some I know I mistyped. They said that they will give credit for misspelled answers, so I hope I get by with answers like "The Magic Flue"

According to the rules, they never tell you your score...which I think bites, but I can understand them not wanting to be sued by yutzes who want to debate credit awarded in given areas.

The next step is to wait. They will go through the entries at random and select some for live interviews. So I'm going to keep my fingers crossed and hope that they call.

Need to wear that red suit somewhere....and god knows I need some Turtle Wax. ;)