"We Don't Know"


That's not exactly a phrase that inspires a lot of confidence.....particularly when it comes from a doctor.....and especially particularly when it's a serious answer to what I thought was a joke about the potential of my being blind in 5 years.

I've been having a boatload of problems with my vision recently. After years of flawless contct use, I started having problems with them not being strong enough, not fitting, etc within the last year. My eye docs would scratch their heads, trying different lenses, types of lenses, and basically shrug their shoulders. When the glasses I got a month ago started to seem too weak, I got fed up with my docs and switched to a different one.

My first appointment was this morning. After a battery of tests, the new doc told me my corneas were misshapen (which I knew) and that I had a genetic issue that meant that my eyes had a tough time holding their shape (which was news to me.) My eyes had apparently changed dramatically in the last month, and they didn't want to prescribe new lenses or glasses until they were more certain that my eyes werent going to change. I was referred to a specialist, who wanted me to keep my glasses on and come back in a month. At that point they will see if my eyes stabilize enough to get new lenses.

It was at that point that I joked, "So doc, this doesn't mean I'm going to be blind in 5 years does it?"

Her response was, "We don't know. Your eyes are changing very rapidly...it's possible that they will stabilize, but it's possible that they won't stablize and continue to decline."

So basically there is nothing the specialist can do other than run more tests to confirm the diagnosis. Glasses and contacts will always be a little weaker than I need them to be...in the best case scenario. There's no treatment, other than hard lenses that will help to keep the eyes a little more stable.

Don't get me wrong.....I'm a very long way from needing a cane and a dog, and I've been to enough doctors to know that they have to present the worst case scenario on the off chance it does happen and I want to sue. It's just the thought that it's a possibility that is kind of freaking me out right now.

So I now have a month to wait.

Did I mention I never was very good at waiting?